Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you were being patronised?
I’m not even sure if that's the right word for it, so I’ll try and explain the feeling. ❤️🩹
Say you’re in a situation and someone says something dismissive that hurts deep in your heart, or they give you the "pity eyes" or make you feel like you’re not up to standard - not good enough.
Chances are, that if you have a disability, different ability, are Neurodivergent or are the parent of a loved one in this situation, then you will know exactly what I mean.
There is a word for it - it is called “Ableism” (discrimination in favour of able-bodied people)
As a parent of a child with a disability, I have experienced my fair share of it. When my son Max was a tiny baby his early educator told me "never let him hold his head down when he’s older, he'll look too different". "Never let him flap his hands or spin around in public". "You don't want him to look too blind". She also said “if he just had a tiny bit of vision, his life would be so much better & so much easier” That was 14 years ago & I still remember it like it was yesterday. He was only 10 weeks old. 😔
Too many expectations & too much pressure is put on individuals & families to meet unrealistic & unfair goals set by society that doesn't always value difference. I didn't know back then that there was a word for it, but I knew that it made us feel pretty awful.
And this isn't just happening to my family, it is happening to all of us, everyday. And it needs to stop.
We are not all meant to be the same, and being able bodied is not better, it’s just different.
So, if you have felt this feeling and continue to experience it, please know that you are not alone. That you are valued. That your future is not already written. That your achievements are great. That the attitude of others is their problem, no yours!
Being blind is ok. Being autistic is ok. Being ADHD is ok, Using a cane is ok. Using a wheelchair is ok. Being gay is ok. Being able bodied is ok. Being straight is ok. Being neurodivergent is ok. Being trans is ok. Having an intellectual disability is ok. Being neurotypical is ok. Having a guide dog is ok. Being who you are is ok!
It's an exhausting waste of energy trying to meet other people’s expectations. Our time is much better spent enjoying ourselves and our loved ones exactly as we are. 💛